Saturday, January 30, 2016
Friday, January 29, 2016
Opportunity When Being Tested
When I am tested, I feel it is an opportunity to do something unnecessary and get more of what I want and need in life.
Keep Sinning, er, Smling
Do you know that people who you like a lot are popular for acting like all the wild, confusing people who seem to have such a miserable life that they let out contradictory instructions on what to do that overcome the world? The very likable people say, "Hey, yea, that's okay, just rattling up the tight stress and making things more comfortable even tho it's like a sin. Let's all submit to this instruction." Do you realize what this says? It says, "Hey, keep sinning cuz it makes life seem easier to copy from. Maybe, this is the right way to eventually ride into death by the time one is an old man or woman. Hey, nothing wrong with being, like, a dump truck driver, after you've dedicated to some other path, cuz hey you know it really is okay so why not give up the other dream for something else - jump on the bandwagon too?"
I'm not trying to victimize people. I notice this desire from a lot of things I bet. Who fits the description in your life?
I'm not trying to victimize people. I notice this desire from a lot of things I bet. Who fits the description in your life?
Did you notice..
Did you notice people who always want you in limbo, like what you think is never right either way cuz it's supposed to hurt you? They just wanna keep the mystery.
Thursday, January 28, 2016
Just Stay Calm
I learned ways to deal with different kinds of anger of how others are to me. I feel like I'm 5 tho and can't seem to get it coordinated.
Turning Me On
I know people can turn me on and make me mad if they can create a pretend reason, like if I feel a little guilty about my behavior (well, inner thoughts others can detect) tho it wasn't really that bad yet to a degree.
Thinking of You
Before, I felt pushed to think about someone I like when I was able to give myself down time.
Now, I feel I cannot think of them at all because of others.
Now, I feel I cannot think of them at all because of others.
Who cares..
I bet people think who cares Christina is Chinese toss her. That's why me having a problems blog is unacceptable to others.
I understand it sounds like a regiment to go by. I don't think I've seen the issue solved, and I don't see how it is a real issue other than to get at me.
Also, I think that most racists are just prejudiced.. obviously. If you're white, why not just say the Chinese don't matter but should be off-ed? You don't have any blood or anyone to care about. It's accepted popularity-wise.
Supposedly, I am not a person just because you decided and if considered bad say it's popular. It's not even cuz I'm Chinese but because I'm like a kid to people who don't want me to be. We all understand that. It's a simple problem with a simple solution, in some ways.
I understand it sounds like a regiment to go by. I don't think I've seen the issue solved, and I don't see how it is a real issue other than to get at me.
Also, I think that most racists are just prejudiced.. obviously. If you're white, why not just say the Chinese don't matter but should be off-ed? You don't have any blood or anyone to care about. It's accepted popularity-wise.
Supposedly, I am not a person just because you decided and if considered bad say it's popular. It's not even cuz I'm Chinese but because I'm like a kid to people who don't want me to be. We all understand that. It's a simple problem with a simple solution, in some ways.
My Identity
Why do people think I am a product of my parents and that they aren't good enough for me to be who I want? That's far off the mark. May as well seek out a poor black kid in Africa and ask them to lead a nation. Plus, may as well discount all the princesses.
Having Pennsylvania Blood
It feels like I'm a dog following a bone hanging from a stick attached to my head.
Problems
This is an old unpublished post.
Others having problems with others should not affect me negatively.
Kick Start Your Diet Today
Get all the pieces in place.
-Sufficient Exercise
-Fasting to Healthy Foods
-Respect Your Inner Connoisseur for Food
-Sufficient Exercise
-Fasting to Healthy Foods
-Respect Your Inner Connoisseur for Food
Wrong "Punishments"
I don't like people "punishing" me when I am the one being attacked and acting like it's a part of the circle of life.
They think they are catty and solved an issue. Well, nope. I don't know why people venerate others in some ways. They are trying to look good socially, too.
I don't take being talked down upon as an assumption of who I am. Not everyone lives life that way with that sorta threat to their personal space. It is actually racism about my mom's genes in me. I am a successful person, but people are listening to others/someone else who I "accidentally"/whatever spammed and beating on me that I'm nothing like there's something wrong with my parents. I'm also on psychiatric pills I don't need, which helped result in other maladies.
They think they are catty and solved an issue. Well, nope. I don't know why people venerate others in some ways. They are trying to look good socially, too.
I don't take being talked down upon as an assumption of who I am. Not everyone lives life that way with that sorta threat to their personal space. It is actually racism about my mom's genes in me. I am a successful person, but people are listening to others/someone else who I "accidentally"/whatever spammed and beating on me that I'm nothing like there's something wrong with my parents. I'm also on psychiatric pills I don't need, which helped result in other maladies.
I don't like how this is going.
So, my parents are getting into me more.. like trying to overcome my passion for others.
Pathetic
My parents took a turn for the worse when I got interested in others and left me "in trouble."
Problem
I don't believe people who think you should be a series of steps without problems coming up and if you stop and think about it you're a problem.
I don't get it.
It seems a lotta people want me d**d, a little more for everyone then, just jealous because I did it but not jealous before.
Liars
They do it to save their own hide cuz they were being s***.
I just shouldn't care about anyone. Those older adults will be there to save their hide by being racist as an excuse.
I just shouldn't care about anyone. Those older adults will be there to save their hide by being racist as an excuse.
Ruining My Stay
I've been in Orlando a long time.
People just assume I am worthless cuz I'm 1/2 Asian from my mom.
People just assume I am worthless cuz I'm 1/2 Asian from my mom.
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
Romping Around
Do you know people who want to wake up because of race because there are things to do to beat out the Asians from being on the human genome?
Why are..
What do you think of people messing around acting like I'm bad and then I'm good, like it's just a game and neither answer is correct? Do they think they are better than me? as well as others?
Good Girl Gone Bad?
Think of all those fools who go by the supposition I am bad in life.
Oh, yea, that's nothing. That's the opposite of everyone else. Let's just flip something around and all our problems shall be solved.
Oh, yea, that's nothing. That's the opposite of everyone else. Let's just flip something around and all our problems shall be solved.
Cool Kids
My dad says sometimes kids are silly when I was talking about someone as a kid then teen..
Older adults today, Baby Boomers, bank on the "people who are a bit younger than me," like 10 years younger. They think they followed the real program and I'm toxic waste.
Older adults today, Baby Boomers, bank on the "people who are a bit younger than me," like 10 years younger. They think they followed the real program and I'm toxic waste.
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
The Ellen DeGeneres Show
Mario Lopez was a great personality!
The little strong African American boy was so good! Good personal trainer to some of Ellen's assistants!
Ellen's Birthday! Show tomorrow!
About Mario Lopez, I like the Spanish from living in the oldest continuing city in the US and 2nd oldest, Saint Augustine, Florida. I feel a distance from when I moved away to where Ellen is from. However, I still can retouch some of the magic. I never was very much made public in my interest in the Spanish nor had a very in some way intense confrontation with the Spanish. It was a distant "relationship." I have a stronger connection with the French, which has to be from living in the New Orleans, Louisiana, area.
The little strong African American boy was so good! Good personal trainer to some of Ellen's assistants!
Ellen's Birthday! Show tomorrow!
About Mario Lopez, I like the Spanish from living in the oldest continuing city in the US and 2nd oldest, Saint Augustine, Florida. I feel a distance from when I moved away to where Ellen is from. However, I still can retouch some of the magic. I never was very much made public in my interest in the Spanish nor had a very in some way intense confrontation with the Spanish. It was a distant "relationship." I have a stronger connection with the French, which has to be from living in the New Orleans, Louisiana, area.
Independence
Do you feel more independent of your parents or like they've "fixed" you a lot? Like when you're inadequate or down.
Non-White Heritage
White people need to be the best at everything any race does so much they made the protocol of non-white a part of their surrounding requirements, while they coast nonchalantly dissing the actual non-whites themselves, like they don't matter and aren't "human"/"real people.."
A Strict Thing
Why would people get mad at a "child" such as me about giving attention to someone quite a bit older?
I mean why me? I know other kids it's impossible.
I mean why me? I know other kids it's impossible.
Monday, January 25, 2016
Time
Have you ever spent too much of the wrong kind of time with someone? to the point it rubs on you and you lose your identity. Yet, you never go out of your way to see said person? Have you??
I found out I could major in singing!
I will ask them to steer me towards my true interests and may fly to study somewhere someday for a semester or something.
I will ask them to steer me towards my true interests and may fly to study somewhere someday for a semester or something.
Do you ever feel..
Do you know that feeling when a feeling, usually physical dawns on/manifests in you and you have to fight or do something, like you can't lay still and let be? Like an inner fight of forces in your body.
Doing What You Should
Do you ever know you did everything you're supposed to do and the world tells you something else now that you cannot fix?
More "Southern" Europeans
I am part Southern European myself.
I don't mind them joining in on my fun, but I don't want to be eliminated.
I don't mind them joining in on my fun, but I don't want to be eliminated.
Schedule
I don't know how often I will catch Ellen as of this past week. I was watching 2 episodes and cut it off.. then "got sick" and threw up. Sometimes, I used not to catch Fridays. Pretty pathetic. I have to do some ironing and want to watch today but unsure if I will be able to catch up. I tried to catch up earlier, tho.
Sunday, January 24, 2016
Saturday, January 23, 2016
Picked On
I still feel picked on. I am such a nice person, but people find me who don't know me and "use" me.
The Ultimate Mistake
The ultimate mistake is to say in the end I don't get what I got in life.
Mind all the little things you do/say against me manifesting in some problem.
Mind all the little things you do/say against me manifesting in some problem.
Did you notice..
Did you notice people heave like they're saying, "Well, okay!" in a friendly yet introverted way like they're bubbling or puffing out, when someone else has taken the brunt of blame for life's challenges?.. like they're the savior?
Stealing Our Dream
People my age had a dream, some of us at least.
Did you ever see men born in the later 1950s going around acting like it has to be it for their little princess like their fair-weathered claim on how good older dads's girls had it?
I never have to ask for anything, like to be approved of. Now, people experimenting on me are making people not accept me. I found it "repulsive" how people demanded attention of others. They are just messing with nature.
Did you ever see men born in the later 1950s going around acting like it has to be it for their little princess like their fair-weathered claim on how good older dads's girls had it?
I never have to ask for anything, like to be approved of. Now, people experimenting on me are making people not accept me. I found it "repulsive" how people demanded attention of others. They are just messing with nature.
Friday, January 22, 2016
A Problem
They took from what was ours and gave it to a higher generation just to solve a problem.
Do you hear how they get excited in such a weird way, can you sense it? I don't even wanna do that. I will not submit to people born in the *1950s, traitors! *1960s, sick!
*Sorry, not sure what floats your boat. I think I've hurt people's feelings about the truth.
Do you hear how they get excited in such a weird way, can you sense it? I don't even wanna do that. I will not submit to people born in the *1950s, traitors! *1960s, sick!
*Sorry, not sure what floats your boat. I think I've hurt people's feelings about the truth.
Perverted "Kids" Today
Anyone like 5 years or younger than me think, "We know all about what you said/think. You're never anything, you're never interesting, you did nothing!"
Automatically Thrown in the Fire by Gut Instinct
"You don't 'have it,' Christina!!"
If you're born in my generation you are.
If you're born in my generation you are.
A "Future"
A BS in Business Administration on the Communications side sounds good. I can work anywhere and do anything. I can work on my arts/music and getting famous, still, too.
Office Accounting I
Office Accounting II Using QuickBooks Pro
Business Communication
Travel Study in Business
Human Resources Management
Human Resources Recruitment and Staffing
Human Resources Compensation and Benefits Administration
Introduction to Human Resources Management Law and Regulations
General Studies
Introduction to Oral Communication
Humanities General Education course
Intermediate Algebra
Social Science General Education course
I will be automatically accepted into UCF.
I just need a note from my therapist for financial aid telling of my situation being mentally ill and withdrawing from too many classes. Also, I will get disability benefits, like testing alone.
Office Accounting I
Office Accounting II Using QuickBooks Pro
Business Communication
Travel Study in Business
Human Resources Management
Human Resources Recruitment and Staffing
Human Resources Compensation and Benefits Administration
Introduction to Human Resources Management Law and Regulations
General Studies
Introduction to Oral Communication
Humanities General Education course
Intermediate Algebra
Social Science General Education course
I will be automatically accepted into UCF.
I just need a note from my therapist for financial aid telling of my situation being mentally ill and withdrawing from too many classes. Also, I will get disability benefits, like testing alone.
Distance
I bet my dad believed I just wanted to be a robot and excel as much as I could in something that's hard and that if I want to meet people I have to just talk to him like I haven't already.
Lies
I'm not from where my dad is from. I know he used to be too distant. He can't be all the get up now and act like he can track me and correct me, like I'm him.
He does it in his attitude, and he yells threatening to throw me outta the house if I mention something like it or try to get into this kinda stuff.
I don't think my parents got dirt on me. I think my mom started to get onto me when I started looking more white. It made me catch on and act the same way back without thinking, but I feel I got into secret trouble. If my dad is responsible, I'd say it's because he's from here and doesn't give a c*** no matter how good I am that I slave away at homework, pretending it's cuz I'm 1/2 Chinese/Asian or that it's mixed race that does it. I already spent about as much time as you can working on the piling busywork and became Valedictorian as a kid. It's the road that leads to nowhere.
He does it in his attitude, and he yells threatening to throw me outta the house if I mention something like it or try to get into this kinda stuff.
I don't think my parents got dirt on me. I think my mom started to get onto me when I started looking more white. It made me catch on and act the same way back without thinking, but I feel I got into secret trouble. If my dad is responsible, I'd say it's because he's from here and doesn't give a c*** no matter how good I am that I slave away at homework, pretending it's cuz I'm 1/2 Chinese/Asian or that it's mixed race that does it. I already spent about as much time as you can working on the piling busywork and became Valedictorian as a kid. It's the road that leads to nowhere.
"Kids!"
People are pushing me to be with people 5 years older than me even if I don't want to at the time, while they have a solution to have all the "kids" go to people who are cool, like Late Boomers.
Post Update
link (about "war")
*I'm not sure where your mind is, but I mean it might be a reason to fight, for instance, Native American indians. I'm not trying to make things up, just stating a fact.
*I'm not sure where your mind is, but I mean it might be a reason to fight, for instance, Native American indians. I'm not trying to make things up, just stating a fact.
Who's Got the Time!
Why do people want to take my time if I'm so different yet supposedly unpopular/unimportant/disposable?
I mean why does it come from me? I don't see others weaving such a web. I didn't grow up to do this.
I mean why does it come from me? I don't see others weaving such a web. I didn't grow up to do this.
"Time"
I find that it's probably emotional load or something else. There is enough time for different things, but some people have obligations. I should only offer up time for others but don't mean take away all mine.
Dilemma
So, everyone can get along, but some people want to be the only #1. I don't think anyone is alone there. I'm not out to beat others. I do "be" in my little hole like I'm worth s***.
Suppressed Racism
Imagine someone racist against Asians supposedly having as much European worth as Southern Europeans in the face of an Asian (looking at an Asian.)
I guess the person would end up finding an Asian admitting they are wrong! and yes very mad and probably a bit schizophrenic.
I guess the person would end up finding an Asian admitting they are wrong! and yes very mad and probably a bit schizophrenic.
Well, I figured it out.
Everyone else is out of the picture. People are simply out to get me. It doesn't affect others negatively what I do.
Inside Out @ Church Tomorrow
Highlight for slight spoilers:
"I think Fear is cute.
I own a purse and the doll Disgust it so happens and plan to bring them to show off what's good!"
"I think Fear is cute.
I own a purse and the doll Disgust it so happens and plan to bring them to show off what's good!"
Resting Race
I know I am being taken advantage of.
I might have a little Italian or some other Southern European.
I am 1/2 Asian, and it's fine in a way for me.
I just saw people resting a fact on me that this was based on race and Southern European trumps Asian, but that's not true! People seem to fight *wars over this fact. It's something that helps people who feel they are "normal" racially whatever their race may be counter the bad intents other races/ethnicities may have, bad things to them regardless of whose race whose is. I'd rather be another race than simply not exist or die or be tortured too much. I am very anti-racist, but people just assume everyone is when they're not. Bingo.
*I'm not sure where your mind is, but I mean it might be a reason to fight, for instance, Native American indians. I'm not trying to make things up, just stating a fact.
I might have a little Italian or some other Southern European.
I am 1/2 Asian, and it's fine in a way for me.
I just saw people resting a fact on me that this was based on race and Southern European trumps Asian, but that's not true! People seem to fight *wars over this fact. It's something that helps people who feel they are "normal" racially whatever their race may be counter the bad intents other races/ethnicities may have, bad things to them regardless of whose race whose is. I'd rather be another race than simply not exist or die or be tortured too much. I am very anti-racist, but people just assume everyone is when they're not. Bingo.
*I'm not sure where your mind is, but I mean it might be a reason to fight, for instance, Native American indians. I'm not trying to make things up, just stating a fact.
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Ellen
I wanna watch but this turned into a ruined week. I started to watch a 2nd episode earlier but left to go to the bathroom and went to bed. Another day, I was up all night going to the bathroom each hour and threw up. I am watching a movie at church tomorrow so may postpone and watch Ellen late Sunday.
From Before - The Ellen DeGeneres Show
Brielle Milla was adorable, the little girl who knows all the elements on the periodic table. I started majoring in Chemistry Pre-Med for Psychiatric Research once.
Elton John was awesome, love him so much! Love The Lion King, a true legend he is.
Elton John was awesome, love him so much! Love The Lion King, a true legend he is.
Being "Nice"
Do you know people who are ultra nice to you just to take what's yours? Is it that hard?!
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
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